Shameful Memories
by fsmvito
Summary: Phoebe MacElroy is a regular witch at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. At least, she was. She is currently suffering from PTSD because of something that happened there. She thinks it was her fault and that torments her immensly. Join us on a happy adventure full of Witches and Wizards!
1. Chapter 1

Life sucks sometimes. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. There's nothing to do about it, and you're stuck with it for a long, long time. At least, until you die, but, who the hell wants to talk about that? Death...man, that must be shitty. Having lived a fulfilling life is amazing, but when that ends... I wouldn't have minded though. But, I didn't really have a choice, It just comes and goes, life that is. I'm not really a girl of faith, so I didn't have a chance to meet Him. But, from reliable sources, I've heard that he is a pretty nice guy. Really forgiving, but has a cruel side. Everyone's like that. I mean, when you're the creator of an entire universe, you're bound to have some sick thoughts come to mind. But, then again, I would'nt know.

''Phoebe...''

Sometimes when I dream, I dream about a world before all this. Before all of this nonsense happened, a happier time of friends, family and food. Yeah, food. The three F's I like to call them, the three things that are absolutely necessary to life a good life. Well, to an extent. There are some people that can live a happy life without one or two of the F's. A damn high number of people, now that I think about it. And there are even some people who can live without any of them! Those are some real Menschen. People who can live their lives, knowing that they won't be able to live it properly, but still do.

''Hey, Phoebe, mate..."

Of course some things aren't as bad as others. Being with friends always feels nice, just hangin' out, talking, eating candy and chips...my thoughts are really weird... Well, anyway, not everything about life sucks. I'd be depressed if I thought everything did, and I really, reaaallly don't like being depressed. I do like having long monologues that don't seem to make any sense at all, just random words placed after eachother. (Yeah, I'm lampshading something within the story! Take that tropers!) Nitwit, blubber, oddment, Tweak... At least that's what Dumbledore said first year.

A low, monotone voice interrupted my train of thought: ''Miss MacElroy...''

I looked up. I saw the clean shaven, stern face of Professor Severus Snape, looking disappointed at me, as usual. His sarcastic words had already burned a good-sized hole in my soul, which started when we first met.

In my most Scottiest Scottish accent I could think of, I said:

''Whit is i', Professur?''

He looked at me, aghast, at my sudden outburst of Highlandic proportions.

''...get back to work.''

As Snape walked away, my friend Dominic next to me, tapped me on the shoulder and whispered:

''Dude, Phoebe, what got into you? You were just staring out into oblivion for over half an hour! I tried to warn you several times before, but Snape was- OH GOD DAMMIT PHOEBE!''

Have you ever noticed when things are at its worse, things will eventually stop getting any better? I have seen these things happen before, but nevertheless will it ever get any-

''Professor, she's doing it again!''

* * *

Hey everybody, I was just trying this little thing here out! I think it's self-insert or something, and this is pretty much a parody of one. If you want to see more of this, please review or PM me!


	2. Chapter 2

A large force pulled me out of my flashback, right onto a field of grass. I looked to my left, and I saw the cute smiling face of Luna Lovegood. She must have woken me up, I thought to myself. Even though we've been friends for years, she still is a bit hesitant about being comfortable around me. With her shoulder lengthed golden locks, her large Disney eyes and her not-caring attitude made it look like she was high all the time. A closer look told me that she wasn't smiling like she usually did. It looked more like a restrained kind of smile, like she was hiding something from me.

I asked her: ''What's wrong, Luna?''

''...Umm...whatever do you mean?'', she responded, still sporting that weird little smile of hers.

I was starting to get suspicious. She normally never acts like this, especially not after she'd find someone blacked out on a random patch of grass. Well, maybe something happened when I was out that made her act this way. Things like this aren't really uncommon around here. I once heard of some kid whose godfather stalked him everywhere the entire year, then got in a fight with Professor Snape and a werewolf for some reason, who he'd already known for years...Yeah, in hindsight, I should've seen something coming from a mile away. Why doesn't the secretary of Education do anything about this place? Or maybe the secretary of MAGICAL Education. They should have seen the shit that happens here on a daily basis before even the students have seen it!

Luna gave me the weirdest look, as I have been staring in the distance for like half a minute.

''Are you alright? You're not having one of your moments again, are you?''

''Huh? Oh, no, I'm fine, Luna.''

Now her normal smile returned on Luna's cute face. I got up from the ground, and there were lots of green spots on my school uniform. Luna looked at me, and led me to a creek to help me wash my clothes. She wasn't wearing hers, so why did I wear mine. There wasn't even school that day.

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm worried about my friend Phoebe."

Luna Lovegood sat in a not very comfortable chair in Dumbledore's office, whilst sipping tea out of a flower-covered cup and listening to Dumbledore's advice. Luna liked being here. It was nice and quiet, you could relax a bit when you're feeling down and there were no Wrackspurts for miles. The perfect place, really. And even though it was still awkward to her, that an ancient wizard, over a century old, growing a beard that almost touched the floor if he sat correctly, was listening to her about her problems, while an enormous war was raging on outside this very castle.

Luna was staring and gazing behind Dumbledore, holding an inner monologue of some sorts, completely sealed off from the normal world, to thrive and screw around in her own little imaginary world only she and her father harbor. Luna managed to persevere this irratic behaviour until long after Dumbledore had stopped speaking in the mighty voice of his. Dumbledore made use of this time by brewing some more tea for Luna, who was still slurping non-existant tea out of her cup like it was a thing to do. Dumbledore snapped his fingers a few times in front of Luna, to no effect. He tried to grab the cup she was holding, also to no effect. Suddenly, the tea kettle sang a beautiful song. In C-Minor. On a very high frequency. Retrieving the singing kettle, who at that moment was singing the last portion of an aria he composed himself called: "Put me down, you twit!", Dumbledore got an idea. Being the good kind-hearted sadist that he is, Albus poured the boiling hot tea right into Luna's still clenched cup.

Luna jumped up from her seat, once she felt the scorching hot tea on her lips. The cup was dropped and the tea flew through the air and landed on the floor, which quickly was burned through by the tea itself. Dumbledore smiled.

''So. Awake now, I see."

Luna mustered up an apology from her scalded lips, before finally asking Dumbledore to repeat what he just said.

"I was just telling you to give her some space and that things will work themselves out eventually."

"...that's it?", Luna replied puzzled.

"Basically. You just stared off into the distance for about a minute or two after I told you."

"And you thought it was a good idea to burn me with tea?"

"Basically."

Luna wasn't very surprised with this kind of answer from the great Headmaster. The school's already established that he's mental, but we keep him around anyway because of small, pretty much non-existant reasons, like if some dark force with unlimited power and nigh-invincibility terrorises the land. Then, and only then, we could use Dumbledore. But that's only a one-in-a-million chance anyway, so when would that ever happen? Never. Except when it happens all the time at this school. Seriously, this school has the worst security of any magical wizard school in the world! We could've just gone to Beauxbatons or Durmstrang, but no. We'd have to learn French for that, or be a boy to go to Durmstrang...right? I don't know, maybe there are some girls who go there, but they're probably some Brawn Hilda's no-one likes to talk about.

But I digress.


	4. Chapter 4

Phoebe was sitting at the river bank, smiling and throwing pebbles into the water, until her friend Dominic walked up to her.

"Okay, listen Phoebe. We've had it up to here with your antics. You better change your attitude soon, or else we have to use drastic measures."  
"What's with the pronoun game, who's "we"?"

Suddenly, as if right on cue, a rumble was heard. The ground shook and in the distance a large smoke cloud could be seen.

"Dom? What's going on?", Phoebe asked, slightly afraid of what was going to happen quite soon.

Dominic stayed quiet and watched the massive crowd gain speed when it came out of the castle. Hundreds, maybe even thousands of students, teachers, school staff and many other people charged towards the river bank. As soon as Phoebe realized what happened, she made a run for it. Dominic tried to catch up to her, but she was too fast. Seems as if all those years of P.E. really worked out for her.

Once the mob arrived at the river bank, Phoebe was nowhere to be seen. Everyone was angry and tired from running such a large distance for nothing. The teachers were furious, the Ravenclaw house wailed and whined for not being able to catch her in time and the entire Slytherin house was enraged. The Hufflepuffs didn't show up, they were too busy huffing their puffs in the common room. That's what happens when your homeroom teacher teaches Herbology. The Gryffindors also weren't there, unfortunately, having much more important stuff to do, like adventuring and being obviously the best possible pick.

One Slytherin girl was particulary pissed, Pansy Parkinson. Being the insufferable traitress that she was, she suggested having You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters capture her, but that idea was quickly rejected, mainly because asking someone to help the school whose armies have threatened to murder a small minority of unexplained magical Muggles whose children are being housed at this same school right as we speak, isn't really the best option for hunting down a teenage girl who hasn't really done anything wrong.

"After her!", Dominic yelled, as he pointed in the direction where Phoebe ran off to. The mob dashed past him with such speed, he almost got knocked over. Fact: Wizards can run up to ten times faster than even the fastest Muggle (it may not be a true fact, but it's a fact anyway).

Phoebe is still hiding from the mob. In the Forbidden Forest, with giant spiders, Umbridge-assaulting centaurs and a flying Ford Anglia, which is probably haunted by now. Phoebe looks between the trees towards the outside world. The legion of angry wizards dashes by, not noticing Phoebe looking at her.

"This won't do.", Phoebe thinks to herself. "I can't hide out here forever! There are numerous creatures who live here who won't appreciate me living here. Especially not for long periods of time. Please, someone, help me!"

Phoebe MacElroy, student, witch. An outcast, rejected and done away with by the people she thought were her friends. She's all alone and needs someone. You can help her if you want to. There's not much time left though.


End file.
